Did I play my cards right?
Or did I do no more than start a fight,
that now, neither one of us can emerge,
Victorious? Perhaps now's the time.

I stay up until 3 A.M.every day,
Feeling that I'll prolong my own suffering,
No second chances given, no matter the outcome.
What path to choose, to end it, and make us both lose?
Or to continue on, and make only myself suffer?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions,
Perhaps all these dreams of the future long ago
Are now visions, not of truth , but are coming true.
Now, I fade into the darkness, that swallows my soul
To a never-ending path where I wander for eternity.

My soul trapped within this path, my heart aching,
even when happy, I feel misery. The happiness fades away.
And all that befalls the soul within is endless misery.
Now I feel that these emotions, feelings, were indeed
supererogatory.

But the innocent one uses a strong belief,
and uses it to continue controlling what we have,
Which in reality is only what she has, and that
which I do not. All this time, Have I been
nothing more than blind?

Why bother keeping on,
When All I can do is cry?
Why am I not happy, when I should be?
It was not until late I realized,
No matter how many times in a day a smile,
I don't even want to try, all I'll do is
put myself through further suffering,
And keep my misery unknown, and away?

But perhaps that's not wise,
As I sit and lay down, I close my eyes
But what if I tell her, then she will get hurt,
by what I have to say, and then she'll run away

But what if this emotion, this feeling,
What if it transmogrifies into nothingness?
What if this love fades away,
on it's own?

Then my suffering would come to an end,
and in the end, nobody would be hurt,
Not me , nor her, and all is well.
But now, I wonder what would happen
If I were still with her.


Did I play my cards right?
Or did I further prolong my own suffering?...
No matter what comes out of it,
I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid to cry.