Got in a jam,
Missed my job interview.
Got on the freeway,
Tires exploded too.
Tried to call for help
But the phone's dead too.
Bad luck, woohoohoohoo.

Stuck on the freeway.
Woohoo!
Meh. This car's crappy,
I'll get rid of that too.
Phone's a piece of s**t
So I smash it to bits.
Woohoohoohoo.

Tried to drive away on aluminium rims.
They spark at the ground, but they're just aluminium rims.
And I got just one tire to put on four rims.
Bad luck, woohoohoohoo.

I wave at passing cars for help.
A car stops sharply, its tires giving a welp.
I hear police sirens coming up quick,
And now I'm a drug dealer's hostage. What the freak?

He floors it; me in the back.
240 km/h. He loses grip at the back.
Couldn't drive for s**t if he was fixed to a track.
Bad luck, woohoohoohoo.

Hospital room, that's where I am.
The drug dealer crashed with his focus of ham.
I get up, I can't find my RAM.
Bad luck, woohoohoohoo.

Amnesia!
Woohoo!
"They're your family"
Who who?
"They found your car."
Wha wha?
"It's pretty beat up."
Bwa ha?

Can't remember a thing. Woohoo!
Gonna need years of therapy. Boohoohoo.
Gotta wait for my bones to heal too.
Bad luck, woohoohoohoo.

EDIT: Modified slightly for better flow.